Okay y'all, this is not gonna be like my typical posts.
I am freakin strugglin over here!! Yes, getting back on the wagon with my eating and workouts. BIG time. But it all boils down to the same thing. This whole breakup thing is impossible. I really have no clue how people survive breakups. Its been almost 6 weeks and I still feel like I am fighting back the tears every single day. Our breakup has nothing to do with how I feel about him. It has everything to do with his actions the past few months. I am career-driven. I work my ass off every week... 40 hours at the hospital, 20ish hours at the jewelry store job (my only PAYING! job!) plus my online classes. I am working my ass off so that when I graduate (9 MONTHS!!) I can be independent and not rely on my parents anymore. I feel like Kris is very content in his life right now. He is happy taking a few classes, living with his parents still and going out with his friends all the time. It is just extremely frustrating to me. I want him to grow up so that when I move back home in 9 months, we can move forward in our relationship. How am I supposed to get over someone that I am still so in love with? I cannot imagine ever dating another guy. But at the same time, I feel like I deserve to be happy. And I wasn't happy in our relationship anymore. I know that I can want him to change, but he needs to want to change for himself. And right now, I really don't think he wants that.
Now that I am done venting, I hope you all are having a great weekend!! I need to get back on the wagon! I can't be happy with anyone else until I am happy with myself :) So looking awesome is on the top of my list right now! I need to recommit to a healthy lifestyle!!! I CAN DO THIS!!!